Real Lessons from Life as a Care Provider

There’s a quiet shift that happens when you care for children day in and day out. You start to see things — not just in the children, but in yourself. And over time, those lessons sneak into your parenting, your perspective, and how you show up for the people around you.

At Windy Hill Play, we hold space for young children every day. And in that space, we’ve been taught some of the most unexpected and beautiful lessons about parenting — ones we couldn’t have learned any other way.

1. Every Child Communicates Differently — and That’s a Gift

In our group settings, we’ve learned that not all children want to participate in circle time. Some don’t like sitting still, some don’t like being physically close to others, and some simply aren’t interested that day. We’ve found that allowing those children to move freely doesn’t take away from the experience — it actually adds to it.

It teaches us to meet children where they are. To offer invitations, not demands. And to trust that each child is growing in capacity every day.

It also reminds us: our role is not to mold children into one version of “normal,” but to honor who they are right now — and to celebrate that.

2. Support Should Adapt — for Children and Parents

We live in a world that often pushes normalization — developmental milestones, averages, charts. But real children (and real parents) are multifaceted.

A child may be ahead in one area and need extra support in another — and that’s completely human. The same goes for parents. Some days you’ll shine, and others you’ll give your best and still feel like it took everything you had.

Support that adapts — that sees people as whole, dynamic beings — is the kind that nurtures true growth. And it starts by seeing ourselves honestly and compassionately.

3. Communication Is a Skill We Build Together

Working with toddlers has taught us that communication isn’t about words alone. It’s about attention, presence, and trust.

We try to show our children when we’re truly present — and when we’re not. That might mean saying, “I hear you, and I need a moment before I can respond.” Or it might mean making sure another caregiver is close by to meet a need we can’t get to right away.

Especially with children under 3, communication is deeply physical, emotional, and fast. We’ve learned that clear systems of care and shared attention help make space for every voice — even the ones not yet using words.

4. Abundance Lives in the Way We Care for Ourselves

There are chaotic moments in any day with children. The abundance mindset shows up not by pretending things are perfect — but by trusting there’s enough space to care for ourselves, too.

Sometimes it sounds like, “This activity is a lot for me right now. I’m going to take a water break so I can come back and enjoy it with you.”

It might look like swapping spaces with a teammate or stepping away for five quiet minutes. We model this for each other and the children — trusting that everyone benefits when the adults in the room are honest about their needs.

5. Respect and Kindness Are Daily Practices, Not Just Rules

We use the same language building blocks over and over again: Is it kind? Is it respectful? Is it safe?

These become second nature to the children, like muscle memory. Over time, they begin to apply those questions to their own choices — not out of fear of punishment, but from a growing internal compass.

We also make space for all feelings — even the messy ones. Anger, frustration, sadness — these are all welcome. It’s our job to guide behavior while still honoring the feelings underneath.

This is what gentle discipline looks like: firmness rooted in respect.

6. Boundaries Build Safety — But Only If We See Them Coming

One of the hardest — and most important — parts of caregiving is knowing when to step in. Boundaries aren’t always obvious in the moment, but with time and experience, we learn to sense when something is off, when a child’s need is shifting, or when a pattern is about to repeat.

We don’t get it right every time. But we listen to the feedback loops — the times we stepped in just in time, and the times we wish we had sooner. And we build systems to respond more proactively.

Boundaries, when thoughtfully placed, create freedom — for children to explore safely and for caregivers to support with clarity.

7. Parenting Is the Hardest — and Most Beautiful — Mirror

This is the part we’re still processing.

The truth is, it’s often easier to provide care for someone else’s child than to parent your own. As a provider, we have systems, rhythms, and emotional space.

As a parent, we are the safe place. And that means we see the full range of our child’s becoming — and it also means we are often the landing place for their hardest moments. Patterns shift weekly, daily, even hourly. It’s humbling.

We find ourselves thinking, “I wish I was as good a parent as I am a care provider.” And we’re learning to offer ourselves the same grace and abundance we extend to the children who visit us — because our own children need that too.

At the end of the day, being a childcare provider hasn’t just made us better with children — it’s helped us become more present, more compassionate, and more human.

We’re still learning. And parenting, just like childhood, is a process of becoming.