The Power of a Village: Why Parents Aren’t Meant to Do It Alone

Much like adolescence, the transition into parenthood marks a transformative period characterized by significant biological, psychological, and social changes.What is often overlooked in discussions about parenting is that this transition was never meant to be navigated alone. The old adage "it takes a village to raise a child" isn't just a charming saying—it's a reflection of our evolutionary history and a description for family unity and holistic parenting.

The Science Behind the Village Concept

Recent neuroscience research highlights just how important community is in raising children. A 2024 study in Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience found that when children interact with grandparents, their brain activity aligns in ways that support social and cognitive development—sometimes even more than in parent-child interactions alone.

Even more fascinating, when a parent, grandparent, and child engage together, this connection is even stronger. Researchers suggest that grandparent involvement is most beneficial when parents are also actively engaged, reinforcing what many cultures have known for generations: children thrive when surrounded by a supportive network of caring adults.

Science is now confirming what families have long experienced—raising children is not meant to be done alone, and multigenerational relationships play a vital role in a child’s growth and well-being.

Becoming a parent places enormous demands on both the mind and body. Research shows that the brain undergoes significant changes during pregnancy and early parenthood, adapting to new responsibilities while managing increased emotional and physical strain. 

This mental overload, often called "cognitive load," makes even simple tasks—like leaving the house with an infant—feel overwhelming. Remembering diapers, extra clothes, bottles, favorite toys, and planning around naps and feedings all stack on top of existing personal and professional responsibilities.

With so much to juggle, support from family, friends, and community isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. Parenting was never meant to be done alone, and having a strong network makes navigating these changes more manageable and fulfilling.

The Rise of Isolation in Modern Parenting

Despite the well-documented benefits of a village, modern parenting is often isolating. Geographic mobility, shifting family structures, and the increasing demands of work have left many parents without built-in support systems. Studies link social isolation with increased parental stress, postpartum depression, and higher burnout rates. While multigenerational households have grown in the U.S. (rising from 14% in 1990 to 20% in 2016), many families still parent alone, without a strong support network.

This isolation disproportionately affects certain communities. Families of color, for example, often maintain stronger traditions of multigenerational caregiving, reinforcing cultural identity and family stability. Yet, for those without these built-in systems, creating a village from scratch is both necessary and challenging.

The Benefits of Community for Parents and Children

A strong parenting village offers tangible benefits:

• For Parents: Reduced stress, improved mental health, shared wisdom, and practical support like meal trains and childcare exchanges.

• For Children: Stronger cognitive and social development, a deeper sense of cultural identity, increased emotional security, and exposure to diverse learning opportunities.

As one parent reflected in The Good Neighborhood Project’s Impact Report, “The presence of community transformed my parenting experience—it went from overwhelming to deeply fulfilling.”

Reclaiming the Village Model

Building a parenting village is not about nostalgia—it’s about survival, resilience, and long-term well-being. The science is clear: raising children within a strong community benefits both caregivers and children. Whether through cultural traditions, intentional friendships, or new models of support, reclaiming the village model ensures that no parent has to do it alone.

As The Good Neighborhood Project states: “Through these connections, we create spaces where everyone’s potential is recognized, and mutual support strengthens our collective future.”

Parenting was never meant to be a solitary experience. By actively cultivating community, we not only ease the burden of raising children but also create a foundation for stronger, healthier families—where both children and caregivers can thrive.

How to Build Your Village

1. Expand Your Definition of Community – Your village isn’t just extended family. It includes neighbors, chosen family, childcare providers, faith communities, and playgroups. What matters is creating trusted relationships that provide emotional and practical support.

2. Start Before You Need It – Parents often don’t realize they need a village until they’re already struggling. Attending local events, joining parent-friendly organizations, and connecting with other families early can make a difference.

3. Embrace Vulnerability and Reciprocity – Asking for help doesn’t signify weakness; it strengthens the community. Reframing help-seeking as community-building allows parents to develop strong, lasting bonds.

4. Leverage Technology Intentionally – While online parenting groups can provide support, they should complement—not replace—in-person connections. Apps for local parent meet-ups or meal-sharing programs can help facilitate real-world interactions.

5. Advocate for Structural Support – Community-building isn’t just an individual effort. Supporting policies that promote paid family leave, community spaces, and affordable childcare can create a broader, more accessible village for all families.

References:

Dikker, S., Brito, N. H., & Dumas, G. (2024). It takes a village: A multi-brain approach to studying multigenerational family communication. Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience, 65, 101330.

Orchard, E. R., Rutherford, H. J. V., Holmes, A. J., & Jamadar, S. D. (2023). Matrescence: lifetime impact of motherhood on cognition and the brain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 27(3), 302-316.

The Good Neighbourhood Project. (2024). 2024 Impact Report.