What Proactive Childcare Looks Like—And Why It Matters

Over the past six emails, we've taken a journey together—questioning assumptions, examining systems, and uncovering the forces that shaped our current childcare landscape.

We started by asking whether workforce participation is the only reason we need quality childcare, discovering that care is actually a fundamental human need that builds the foundation for thriving communities.

We explored how childcare serves as the bedrock of our entire economic system—not just enabling parents to work, but shaping the humans who will create our future economy.

We challenged the artificial separation between care and education, recognizing that authentic learning requires feeling deeply cared for, and that the people spending eight hours a day with our children deserve titles that reflect their full humanity.

We questioned whether our education systems cultivate critical thinking or conformity, examining how structures designed for the Industrial Revolution may be limiting our children's potential for an uncertain future.

And we traced the historical shift from village-based care to institutional models, understanding what we lost when informal networks were replaced by rigid systems.

Now, as we conclude this series, it's time to talk about the choice that determines everything: Will we be reactive or proactive?

But first, let's pause to acknowledge something crucial: awareness is the hard work. What we've done together through this series—questioning assumptions, examining systems, breaking down mental barriers—this is the excavation process. This is ground zero, and it's essential to creating a new reality.

The process of building dreams in our minds, of imagining childcare that truly serves children and families, of envisioning communities where care flows from abundance rather than scarcity—this mental work is not preliminary to change. It IS the foundation of change.

Now, having done that essential excavation together, we can acknowledge that childcare is far bigger than serving our workforce economy. We see the impact that quality childcare has on our entire community. And from this place of awareness, we can start being proactive.

Here are stories that reflect what the proactive approach to childcare actually looks like:

But first, let me step away to show you what reactive looks like—and it isn't pretty.

Reactive is two children under the age of 3 being taken into county custody because their social worker determined that their environment was not safe. Their two primary care providers—their dad and grandmother—did not have the means and support to provide them a safe environment.

I am here to tell you that this did not have to be their story. Durham has the heart, the hands, and the feet. We just need to come together to see that care is a basic need for children and parents.

This is why proactive matters. This is why building caring communities isn't just a nice idea—it's essential infrastructure that keeps families together.

Here are stories of what proactive looks like when we get it right:

Story 1: Mike's Investment in Community Care

Mike is the proud grandfather of six children under the age of 8. While he often acts as a care provider for two of his grandchildren, he understands that quality care extends far beyond his own family.

Instead of simply dropping off and picking up, Mike reaches out to his grandchildren's care community and asks: "How can I support you?"

Is it through offering his services as an electrician? Connecting the center with other community members for facility upkeep? Would they prefer a donation toward playground upgrades or educational materials?

Mike knows that by pouring into care communities, the care providers are able to flow into his grandchildren from a place of support and abundance rather than stress and scarcity. His investment ripples outward, strengthening the entire network that holds not just his family, but all the families in his community.

The shift: From seeing childcare as a service he purchases to recognizing it as a community ecosystem he helps sustain.

Story 2: Misty's Circle of Care

Misty is an independent parent of a 6-year-old daughter who has felt overwhelming support from her care community over the years. While her child requires less intensive care than during those first exhausting years of parenthood, Misty still feels a deep sense of connection and gratitude.

So she asks: "Can I come play with the children on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons from 2-4pm?"

Misty understands that her daughter didn't just receive care from employed team members, but also felt valued by the parents who involved themselves in the community and made each child feel seen. Misty herself felt seen and valued by other parents, which allowed her to parent from a place of support and abundance.

Now she wants to give that same gift to the next generation of children and families entering the community.

The shift: From receiving care to creating care, from individual survival to community investment.

Story 3: The Rivera Family's Legacy Gift

When the Rivera family received news of an unexpected job transfer, their first emotion wasn't excitement about the new opportunity—it was grief about leaving their care community. Their 4-year-old had spent three years growing up in this nurturing environment, and the family had built relationships that felt like extended family.

Instead of simply saying goodbye, the Riveras asked: "How can we leave this place better than we found it?"

They organized a community resource drive, donating not just their children's outgrown toys and clothes, but also connecting departing families with newcomers, creating a library of children's books in multiple languages, and establishing a small emergency fund for families facing unexpected hardships.

Even after moving across the country, they send annual updates and contributions, understanding that the community that nurtured their child deserves ongoing support.

The shift: From consuming childcare services to stewarding a community legacy.

Story 4: Jordan's Mentorship Circle

Jordan, a recent college graduate with a degree in environmental science, remembered being the kid with "big energy" who struggled in traditional school settings. He found his confidence through mentors who channeled his intensity into outdoor exploration and hands-on learning.

Now working in renewable energy, Jordan approached local care communities with an offer: "I'd love to mentor children who have big energy like I did. Could I lead a weekly nature exploration group?"

Every Saturday morning, Jordan takes small groups of energetic children on adventures—building forts, identifying birds, collecting leaves, and learning about the natural world. The children gain a positive male role model who understands their energy, while Jordan fulfills his desire to give back to the kind of community he wishes he'd had growing up.

The shift: From remembering what was missing in his own childhood to creating what today's children need.

The Choice Between Fishing and Fixing the Stream

Each of these stories reflects the same deeper truth: we can spend our energy pulling sick salmon from the lake—or we can start walking upstream to fix what’s making them sick.

Reactive responses feel urgent. When you see children struggling or families overwhelmed, it’s natural to want to jump in and help right away. There’s a sense of solidarity in naming the problem and sharing our frustration. But when we stay downstream, we’re stuck treating symptoms that will just keep returning.

Proactive responses require a different kind of courage. They ask us to stop and ask why the salmon are getting sick—and then take the first step upstream. That means moving from reacting to root-causing, from managing crisis to reimagining care. It’s less glamorous, often messier, and it won’t always come with instant results—but it’s the only way real change happens.

Here’s what we’ve learned from going upstream at Windy Hill Play:
You don’t need permission to begin. You don’t need a perfect plan or endless funding. You need a clear vision of what healthy care looks like, the willingness to begin with what you already have, and the commitment to keep learning as you go.

The childcare landscape is slowly shifting because more people are asking upstream questions—and answering with real action: cooperative care models, flexible neighborhood support systems, policy advocacy, and human-centered programs that treat care as a shared responsibility, not a private struggle.

The question isn’t whether our system is making families sick. It is.
The question is whether we’ll stay downstream scooping salmon—or start walking upstream together.

What upstream step will you take?

We’d love to hear what proactive care looks like in your world.

In solidarity and imagination,
Windy Hill Play